To the Valley Below

They say there are five steps to grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. I am in depression right now - I have never had so many emotions going through me and spent so much time holding back myself from crying. At the beginning of the day I was still in the bargaining mode, thinking things were gonna be fine and that I was justified in what I said last night. But the more and more I thought of the demon's face last night as he stared at me and ridiculed me, I realized things are not gonna be fine. Later in the day, I talked to someone who wanted the best for me and he confirmed to me that I had made a mistake. That's when it really hit me. I should have kept my stupid mouth shut!!! Judging from the character of the demon put on display last night I also realized that he will use everything at his disposal to make my life miserable. So now the hard part is just waiting to see the consequences. I am emotionally spent but good news is I had a great 10 mile run in the afternoon! I look forward to reaching the final step of grief, acceptance! Until then ....