I stare out the window of the coffee shop, and an image of my face reflects opaquely on the frozen glass back to me. It makes me sad. I never thought I would end up at this lonely coffee shop hidden down an alley and behind the bus station, at such an early hour. I sit alone and out of place. All around me are homeless and desolate out-of-luck types. They were the kind of people I once graciously handed change to when they asked me. Though I myself did not possess much, I always felt I had at least a little more than them and that I should at least try to help them out. But now, as I gaze out the window of the coffee shop, and watch the snowflakes fall, I wonder, perhaps this is where I belong. Like the falling snowflakes I have descended from the clouds. It is the human spirit that undergoes this same cycle and it just so happens I’ve become a snowflake much faster than most people. The people around me are just as much snowflakes as I am. But here I sit feeling all alone. I walk with a penny in my shoe and a pen without ink.
love,
nick
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
Cuckoo!!!
The new semester has arrived and I possess no complaints thus far. My classes are all creative, thought provoking, and truly darn interesting (except mathematics). In my U.S. Fiction Since 1960 class I am reading Ken Kesey's One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest. Kesey's writing style, subject, and lifestyle/beliefs are truly inspiring, I hope to someday achieve such a talent.
This in mind, the weekend can be described with one word, "strange". Two tiny tabs of paper. Voila! Cogitio Ergo Sum!
Followed by lots of CHAOS.... It was an exhausting few hours on Friday night. It was a trip so chaotic and unexplainable, from one room to another, outside, then to one house, then back, pizza, cigarettes, weed, two bands at two houses, and then back again.
I realized a tremendous amount on Friday night. Hoffman can be thanked, his mistake is beautiful. Memories, visions, dissecting, analyzing each and every aspect to determine the direct effect and purpose. For instance, I remember looking at a computer screen and seeing the inside of it, tangled wires, lights, circuits all spiraling chaotically around performing specific actions. These actions however appear on the surface to be simple such as charging an ipod, but if we ever saw the process from the very inside, start to finish, then we would know the complications behind the process.
This same principle applies to anything in this world. Life moves to quickly to stop and acknowledge any of this or ever appreciate it. This is why forests have been disappearing and why our atmosphere fills with bad chemicals. Humankind is quickly spiraling to a horrible place.
Most people don't even question how their own mind functions. They make decisions based on what others have told them. I realized on Friday, that no matter what, decisions should be closely analyzed from within like it is the electrical wiring of a machine. The true motive and desired result should be taken into account. Only then can a decision become truly your own choice. And if you are clearly defined in making a decision, you will never make a poor decision.
This is very similar thinking to Josef Pieper in his book The Four Cardinal Virtues. In his book, he defines prudence as the most important virtue man possesses. Somehow, many have forgotten this basic knowledge when it comes to life. The distractions of money, fame, and popularity have completely evaporated the idea of prudent thought. Prudence floats in our mind as a cloud now, its truth comes down in raindrops, after poor decisions force us to stop and think.
Prudence will guide me from now on through my life experiences and decisions. So despite how strange this past weekend may have been, I've come away with a tremendous amount of internal peace. At the same time, I am perplexed by just how far from reality things can become. I must explore more roads, faces, and places. I'll try to keep all my travels written in a journal, so I don't forget their true meaning.
love,
nick
I would highly advise watching this short three song concert at NPR of a band called Edward Sharpe and the Magnificent Zeroes. Amazing performers, would love to see them live!
This in mind, the weekend can be described with one word, "strange". Two tiny tabs of paper. Voila! Cogitio Ergo Sum!
Followed by lots of CHAOS.... It was an exhausting few hours on Friday night. It was a trip so chaotic and unexplainable, from one room to another, outside, then to one house, then back, pizza, cigarettes, weed, two bands at two houses, and then back again.
I realized a tremendous amount on Friday night. Hoffman can be thanked, his mistake is beautiful. Memories, visions, dissecting, analyzing each and every aspect to determine the direct effect and purpose. For instance, I remember looking at a computer screen and seeing the inside of it, tangled wires, lights, circuits all spiraling chaotically around performing specific actions. These actions however appear on the surface to be simple such as charging an ipod, but if we ever saw the process from the very inside, start to finish, then we would know the complications behind the process.
This same principle applies to anything in this world. Life moves to quickly to stop and acknowledge any of this or ever appreciate it. This is why forests have been disappearing and why our atmosphere fills with bad chemicals. Humankind is quickly spiraling to a horrible place.
Most people don't even question how their own mind functions. They make decisions based on what others have told them. I realized on Friday, that no matter what, decisions should be closely analyzed from within like it is the electrical wiring of a machine. The true motive and desired result should be taken into account. Only then can a decision become truly your own choice. And if you are clearly defined in making a decision, you will never make a poor decision.
This is very similar thinking to Josef Pieper in his book The Four Cardinal Virtues. In his book, he defines prudence as the most important virtue man possesses. Somehow, many have forgotten this basic knowledge when it comes to life. The distractions of money, fame, and popularity have completely evaporated the idea of prudent thought. Prudence floats in our mind as a cloud now, its truth comes down in raindrops, after poor decisions force us to stop and think.
Prudence will guide me from now on through my life experiences and decisions. So despite how strange this past weekend may have been, I've come away with a tremendous amount of internal peace. At the same time, I am perplexed by just how far from reality things can become. I must explore more roads, faces, and places. I'll try to keep all my travels written in a journal, so I don't forget their true meaning.
love,
nick
I would highly advise watching this short three song concert at NPR of a band called Edward Sharpe and the Magnificent Zeroes. Amazing performers, would love to see them live!
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Interesting faces and interesting places
I have no license.
This statement may seem pretty absurd to most people. A 20 year-old without a license? To some this may seem pretty horrible, but I think it is pretty wonderful, and here are my reasons why (no particular order):
1) The environment is a little bit healthier! If we all do little things they can go a long way. By not driving, based off of the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency's annual emissions report I have saved 45,800 pounds of carbon dioxide from entering the atmosphere, as well as 2,324 gallons of gasoline in only four years! So please take advantage of public transportation, bikes, and the earliest form of transportation walking!!!
2) RIPTA - Where else can you find a cowboy, native american, purple-suited-pimp, 500-pound human or basically anyone as weird as a Wes Anderson movie character? Kennedy Plaza is home to most of these people, and strangely enough it has become a very popular spot to find me as well. Despite the appearance of the RIPTA travelers, I've met some very nice people on my bus rides. It is also very humbling to see the difficulty and struggle some people face in this country. Many of the people on the bus are struggling both to get somewhere and get by. The bus illustrates the part of society that the government ignores, but I see them and I see that I am no different from them, after all, my bank account is currently at 57 cents.... despite the frustration of late buses, the RIPTA has been an uplifting part of being licenseless.
3) Walking with or without a destination. This could be one of the most complex, awesome, and awesomely complex part of not having a license. These days people dread the idea of having to walk places, no matter how far or how close people hate the idea of walking. I am being kind of mean in saying "people" but I would confirm that a large majority would rather drive somewhere that is over a mile away.
Well not me. I enjoy walking and not just to a destination. Its much more exciting to start with idea of a destination and then arrive to different and beautiful places along the way. Walking is a chance to let your imagination run free and to find peace within. You must search for the best things in life and walking can take you to them. When I'm not sure of whether or not I should follow a path or jump a fence I simply think of the poem "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost. It has always been misunderstood, but if you look at it closely it is quite inspiring. (Sidenote: Everyone should acquire at some point in their life an anthology of Robert Frost poetry, it will change your life)
4) Bumming rides. I don't think I am allowed to post this without at least acknowledging anyone I've ever bummed a ride from or hitchhiked with. THANKS!!! Without me not having a license you wouldn't have that vagabond-homeless friend in your group!
This list is probably missing many things but these are the major attractions to not having a license. It is a humbling testament to discovering beauty in traveling to interesting places and meeting interesting faces.
With more roads to travel,
nick
This statement may seem pretty absurd to most people. A 20 year-old without a license? To some this may seem pretty horrible, but I think it is pretty wonderful, and here are my reasons why (no particular order):
1) The environment is a little bit healthier! If we all do little things they can go a long way. By not driving, based off of the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency's annual emissions report I have saved 45,800 pounds of carbon dioxide from entering the atmosphere, as well as 2,324 gallons of gasoline in only four years! So please take advantage of public transportation, bikes, and the earliest form of transportation walking!!!
2) RIPTA - Where else can you find a cowboy, native american, purple-suited-pimp, 500-pound human or basically anyone as weird as a Wes Anderson movie character? Kennedy Plaza is home to most of these people, and strangely enough it has become a very popular spot to find me as well. Despite the appearance of the RIPTA travelers, I've met some very nice people on my bus rides. It is also very humbling to see the difficulty and struggle some people face in this country. Many of the people on the bus are struggling both to get somewhere and get by. The bus illustrates the part of society that the government ignores, but I see them and I see that I am no different from them, after all, my bank account is currently at 57 cents.... despite the frustration of late buses, the RIPTA has been an uplifting part of being licenseless.
3) Walking with or without a destination. This could be one of the most complex, awesome, and awesomely complex part of not having a license. These days people dread the idea of having to walk places, no matter how far or how close people hate the idea of walking. I am being kind of mean in saying "people" but I would confirm that a large majority would rather drive somewhere that is over a mile away.
Well not me. I enjoy walking and not just to a destination. Its much more exciting to start with idea of a destination and then arrive to different and beautiful places along the way. Walking is a chance to let your imagination run free and to find peace within. You must search for the best things in life and walking can take you to them. When I'm not sure of whether or not I should follow a path or jump a fence I simply think of the poem "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost. It has always been misunderstood, but if you look at it closely it is quite inspiring. (Sidenote: Everyone should acquire at some point in their life an anthology of Robert Frost poetry, it will change your life)
4) Bumming rides. I don't think I am allowed to post this without at least acknowledging anyone I've ever bummed a ride from or hitchhiked with. THANKS!!! Without me not having a license you wouldn't have that vagabond-homeless friend in your group!
This list is probably missing many things but these are the major attractions to not having a license. It is a humbling testament to discovering beauty in traveling to interesting places and meeting interesting faces.
With more roads to travel,
nick
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Always cramming! (strictly running blog today)
Well as many people may know, I love to cram for exams and papers! Most the time it is due to poor life decisions, but part of it also seems to be my nature. Well once again I find myself cramming. This time, it is getting fit not school work (though that will come soon enough). The first time in a while I actually feel unfit. And I'm not saying this in my usual runner-type "Oh my god I'm not in P.R. shape" sense! I mean this in the strictest sense after reviewing my training over the past four weeks.
It all began ironically when I was feeling fit, I ran an 8-mile tempo run with Kim Smith on December 7. We did a 5 mile warm-up, then the tempo at 5:30 pace exactly (44:00 total), then finished with a 3 mile cooldown. Needless to say, I felt pretty fucked after, but it was the good fucked feeling, the "I can't wait to run a 5k feeling"! Then I ran 10 and 8 the next 2 days, and then came my downfall!
My nagging foot injury was really taking its toll on me after the tempo, and so what started out as a few days to heal up turned into 11 days off! This is the longest period of time I have taken off in over 3 years! I was just ruined during that time from stress of exams and distracted by other things, and simply lost that incredible feeling I had after that workout.
It was bad. And only got worse...
I returned to running with a 12 mile run, then a 10 miler, then 8, then nothing again! My knee was shot, inflamed and extremely painful to run on. So needless to say I treated it the normal "nick-style" - booze and living free.
But then I returned to my previous pair of shoes and the knee has been better since and I remembered that thing called a training program! So now I'm cramming! This week should total about 62 miles. Then the next two around 70 with some tempos and a few speed workouts! All leading up to the epic "time trial" on Saturday, January 23. It'll most likely be either a mile or a 3k, depending on how my workouts are going.
From there is the Terrier Invite (depending on if I hit the pre-established time mark for the time trial). And then beyond that is the Valentine Invite two weeks later, then I believe the indoor season will be over and I will hopefully have that same good feeling I had after the workout with Kim as I prepare for a spring road racing season!
I'm keeping the spirts high and training hard! This is the time to cram! I've always come out alright in the past, so I'm hoping for the same! If indoor doesn't work, I've got plenty of roads that need some racing in the spring and perhaps I might try racing 13.1 miles on May 2nd in prov. We'll see... but I'm looking forward and need to stay on the right roads!
As Keith Kelly would quote: "Fitter, Happier, more productive" - thats the goal.
much love,
nick
p.s. New vampire weekend album "Contra" is absolutely amazing. They have such a unique style that sets them apart from any other indie band and this album takes it even further. Cannot wait to see them in boston on April Fools day!!!!
It all began ironically when I was feeling fit, I ran an 8-mile tempo run with Kim Smith on December 7. We did a 5 mile warm-up, then the tempo at 5:30 pace exactly (44:00 total), then finished with a 3 mile cooldown. Needless to say, I felt pretty fucked after, but it was the good fucked feeling, the "I can't wait to run a 5k feeling"! Then I ran 10 and 8 the next 2 days, and then came my downfall!
My nagging foot injury was really taking its toll on me after the tempo, and so what started out as a few days to heal up turned into 11 days off! This is the longest period of time I have taken off in over 3 years! I was just ruined during that time from stress of exams and distracted by other things, and simply lost that incredible feeling I had after that workout.
It was bad. And only got worse...
I returned to running with a 12 mile run, then a 10 miler, then 8, then nothing again! My knee was shot, inflamed and extremely painful to run on. So needless to say I treated it the normal "nick-style" - booze and living free.
But then I returned to my previous pair of shoes and the knee has been better since and I remembered that thing called a training program! So now I'm cramming! This week should total about 62 miles. Then the next two around 70 with some tempos and a few speed workouts! All leading up to the epic "time trial" on Saturday, January 23. It'll most likely be either a mile or a 3k, depending on how my workouts are going.
From there is the Terrier Invite (depending on if I hit the pre-established time mark for the time trial). And then beyond that is the Valentine Invite two weeks later, then I believe the indoor season will be over and I will hopefully have that same good feeling I had after the workout with Kim as I prepare for a spring road racing season!
I'm keeping the spirts high and training hard! This is the time to cram! I've always come out alright in the past, so I'm hoping for the same! If indoor doesn't work, I've got plenty of roads that need some racing in the spring and perhaps I might try racing 13.1 miles on May 2nd in prov. We'll see... but I'm looking forward and need to stay on the right roads!
As Keith Kelly would quote: "Fitter, Happier, more productive" - thats the goal.
much love,
nick
p.s. New vampire weekend album "Contra" is absolutely amazing. They have such a unique style that sets them apart from any other indie band and this album takes it even further. Cannot wait to see them in boston on April Fools day!!!!
Sunday, January 3, 2010
When there is nothing to do but nothing
Today was uneventful, but usually what comes with an uneventful day is plenty of time to think, play guitar, read, and listen to music. So in a sense, everyday of mine is uneventful, and actually by this very definition, I live a pretty uneventful life, especially without school. I am quite content with uneventfulness however, especially on sundays (that's like God's day of rest or something right??). So here are the four principles of my uneventful day:
THINKING: most of this activity was done with serious attention for exactly 1 hour, 9 minutes, and 54 seconds, in 19° weather while running along snow covered roads. It sounds awful and please don't get me wrong, it was physically miserable, but besides a frozen face, I came back feeling very happy and mellow. There is something about this desolate New England winter that amazes me with its beauty. This was the best thought I had today, I looked out to the frozen beach and the seagulls on the snowy shore and I thought it looked amazingly peaceful and absolutely beautiful. I ran out to the rocks that extend into the ocean and stood on the furthest rock I could and just stared out into the ocean. I honestly can't determine the exact thought that was going through my mind, but it was somewhere between peace and serenity as the winds slowed and all around me there was silence. It was the nicest part of my day - I smiled and continued running.
GUITAR: I have to admit I only played one song today, "Such great heights" by Iron and Wine. It is a beautiful song, one of my favorites despite its hugely commercial success from the Postal Service cover, which isn't bad, but it doesn't hold a candlestick to Sam Beam's version.
READ: The Book of Laughter and Forgetting by Milan Kundera. I've actually read this book before, but it was a while ago and I don't know if I truly appreciated the beauty of it. Kundera possesses one of the greatest gifts a writer can possess and one he, himself, criticizes people of always trying to achieve through writing, and that is the ability to touch people. He creates real people in incredibly realistic relationships, internal struggles and extraordinarily desperate situations. I've taken away a tremendous amount from reading this story and would highly recommend anyone who has love in their heart to read it, and heck, even if your a heartless bastard you'll at least enjoy the stories about sex! For me however, today's section I read entitled "Litost" was extremely helpful in understanding love and despair. Inspiring book.
MUSIC: songs i listened to today:
Say it to me now - Glen Hansard
Time Code - Bright Eyes
Sovay - Andrew Bird
A Thousand Men - Joe Pug
Golden Age of Radio - Josh Ritter
Hannah - Ray LaMontagne
I Believe In Symmetry - Bright Eyes
Belated Promise Ring - Iron and Wine
Your Protector - Fleet Foxes
Me and The Major - Belle and Sebastian
Sandman, the brakeman and Me - Monsters of Folk
Bees - Animal Collective
Illgresi - Sigur Rós
I'm going to try and avoid uneventfulness tomorrow with a lonely trip to Providence simply for a wander. Maybe take some photos and visit the salvation army for some new wardrobe.
peace,
nick
AWESOME MUSIC/VIDEO FROM CHAD VANGAALEN:
THINKING: most of this activity was done with serious attention for exactly 1 hour, 9 minutes, and 54 seconds, in 19° weather while running along snow covered roads. It sounds awful and please don't get me wrong, it was physically miserable, but besides a frozen face, I came back feeling very happy and mellow. There is something about this desolate New England winter that amazes me with its beauty. This was the best thought I had today, I looked out to the frozen beach and the seagulls on the snowy shore and I thought it looked amazingly peaceful and absolutely beautiful. I ran out to the rocks that extend into the ocean and stood on the furthest rock I could and just stared out into the ocean. I honestly can't determine the exact thought that was going through my mind, but it was somewhere between peace and serenity as the winds slowed and all around me there was silence. It was the nicest part of my day - I smiled and continued running.
GUITAR: I have to admit I only played one song today, "Such great heights" by Iron and Wine. It is a beautiful song, one of my favorites despite its hugely commercial success from the Postal Service cover, which isn't bad, but it doesn't hold a candlestick to Sam Beam's version.
READ: The Book of Laughter and Forgetting by Milan Kundera. I've actually read this book before, but it was a while ago and I don't know if I truly appreciated the beauty of it. Kundera possesses one of the greatest gifts a writer can possess and one he, himself, criticizes people of always trying to achieve through writing, and that is the ability to touch people. He creates real people in incredibly realistic relationships, internal struggles and extraordinarily desperate situations. I've taken away a tremendous amount from reading this story and would highly recommend anyone who has love in their heart to read it, and heck, even if your a heartless bastard you'll at least enjoy the stories about sex! For me however, today's section I read entitled "Litost" was extremely helpful in understanding love and despair. Inspiring book.
MUSIC: songs i listened to today:
Say it to me now - Glen Hansard
Time Code - Bright Eyes
Sovay - Andrew Bird
A Thousand Men - Joe Pug
Golden Age of Radio - Josh Ritter
Hannah - Ray LaMontagne
I Believe In Symmetry - Bright Eyes
Belated Promise Ring - Iron and Wine
Your Protector - Fleet Foxes
Me and The Major - Belle and Sebastian
Sandman, the brakeman and Me - Monsters of Folk
Bees - Animal Collective
Illgresi - Sigur Rós
I'm going to try and avoid uneventfulness tomorrow with a lonely trip to Providence simply for a wander. Maybe take some photos and visit the salvation army for some new wardrobe.
peace,
nick
AWESOME MUSIC/VIDEO FROM CHAD VANGAALEN:
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